Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Agony?

A fifteen year old girl at a local school committed suicide a few weeks ago.

I mean, what in the world? So young! She had so much life to live! My youngest sister is sixteen and I cannot (and I mean literally, I start to sob at the thought alone) imagine what it would be like if her life was just over.

Moreover, this girl was a student of a dear friend of mine. And when that friend shared the news with me, she could barely speak between loud, heavy, sobs and gasping for air. As I held my friend I tried desperately to search for words to say, I realized that, that was just it. The situation was desperate. My friend was in deep agony. Agony that a soothing word or warm embrace will never cure. Agony that sits deep in the belly and threatens to burst a lung at any moment.

I just can't seem to get a few thoughts out of my head. They are haunting me. And so, I venture to share them with you and hope that you will at least ponder with me for a moment.

1. Do I even pay attention to how much I could be impacting someone? Or am I just lazy and "typical" in my relationships?
2. What am I doing to speak truth into younger girl's lives?
3. When was the last time that I was truly in agony over something? Was it righteous or petty?
4. Why don't I hurt more for situations like this? A fifteen year old just taking her life into her own hands? Have I become numb?
5. How can I have the heart of God for each person that I come in contact with?

Oh Lord my God! I need you so much!