This Christmas

Washington is beautiful! My family is beautiful! I just wanted to share a little bit about my trip, funny family things that have happened, and what I have been learning.
1. We have seen snow! But, we had to drive about 25 minutes up into the mountains. The weather reports have been promising snow for days now and all we have seen is ice. Ice is slippery and often fun, but not snow. When it says it will rain, it rains. We are still glued to the window in anticipation. Maybe tonight is the night!

2. Sisters are wonderful. They can also be a curse : ). I am joking about that last part. I don't want to get too emotional but I will say this...I am so proud of them. I had to accept that they might not be exactly who I wish they were or think it would be best for them to be. But they are who the Lord desires for them to be and I trust Him. They have made the best of a new town and are becoming Godly and wise (well wiser ha ha) young women.

3. I will never forget this Christmas Eve. We went to the service at my parent's wonderful church and the pastor reflected on the Lord's beauty and what a gift it is that we can see it. I came to a very important conclusion: His beauty is ALIVE! The Lord's beauty is like the many faces of a diamond. He turns and moves and His light reflects and shines a new facet of His glory. I am contunially learning new things about Him and His ever present beauty.

4. Christmas morning was a blast. Allison has mentioned nothing for the last few days but the IPod Nano that she wants. Really, if my parents hadn't bought it for her I would have done it myself...just to shut her up. But we did get her one and decided to wrap it in about 6 boxes. It was so fun watching her got more and more irritated as she opened it. My Dad (always trying to be funny) said that he has something much worse than wrapping it multiple times.
"Like what?" Allison asked.
"I will tell you in a minute." He said.
"That means he will tell you when he thinks of something." Abigail piped in.
Classic Thomson moment. Dad trying to be funny and getting called on his bluffs. We then sat down to eat our traditional Christmas breakfast: cinnamon rolls and "little smokies"...delightful.

Cheers and Hisses

Theatre during the middle of the 20th century was not complete without a man holding the cue cards. The audience was instructed when to laugh, boo, and make all sorts of reactive noises. When the villain would enter, the crowd needed no cue. They would erupt with cries of displeasure.

I had a similar experience in my first grade classroom the other day. We have been reading the original story Pinnochio for a few months now at the last 10 minutes of every day. It is much more extensive than the Disney version and Pinnochio's inner struggle to choose right or wrong actions is painted much more colorfully. He is continually in situations where he has the ability to do good, be responsible, and follow through on the word he has given. Yet, he almost always does the opposite of what he should.

We came to a point in the story where he has been on a right and proper path for quite some time. He is behaving, going to school and studying hard, obeying his father, and making good decisions. The Blue Fairy has finally promised that if he can behave for five more days...he can become a "real" boy! Pinocchio is elated and promises to not dissapoint. The inevitable has an ugly face that hides in crevices that are much shallower than we wish they were. Along comes a caravan of wild boys and dancing stage coaches. One of the masters asks him to come along to Fantasy Island where dreams com true and life is easy and good. Pinnochio's struggle is illustrated for a few paragraphs until he finally gives in and joins the parade.

The reacion of my first grade students when we reached this pivitol moment in the book was priceless. The room was filled with "nooo!s" and "awe man!s" and sad faces. They were so disgusted and let down by his decision. It was suprisingly moving and as tears welled up in my eyes (I was not sure why this was so emotional for me) I started to think....

Deuteronomy 7:26 "Do not bring a detestable thing into your house or you, like it, will be set apart for destruction. Utterly abhor and detest it, for it is set apart for destruction."

I love the wording in that verse, "utterly abhor and detest it". We are called to turn from evil and do good (Psalm 34:14, 37:27). To be able to distinguish between good and evil is a sign of maturity and being brough up in the "meat" of he Word of God. The six and seven year olds that I work with daily see things through beauiful eyes. Children have the amazing ability to see simple things that adults complicate. Love what is good and hate what is evil. Cheer for the heros and boo at the villains. They longed for Pinnochio to just do what was right.

I desire cheers, excitement, and joy to overflow from my heart at the things that are good and to passionately hate and be disgusted with evil.

1 Corinthians 13:6 "LOVE does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth."

As Ayden, one of my precious students, prayed...may we "love the Lord with all that we do." May we love Him with all that we desire and all that we detest.

Pencil sharpening LEADS to many things...

I was sorting through papers at my desk today and Monet, complete with her missig two front teeth and new glasses, walked up and mentioned to me that her pencil was not "writing very well". I looked at the dull tip and smiled as I asked her "Well, would you like me to sharpen it for you?". She smiled, thinking that I had played into her little game.

The pencil sharpener is literally called "The Turbo", and its name is no overexaggeration. I believe it to be the king of all pencil sharpeners, the Benny "the Jet" Rodriguez, if you follow. In seconds it will transform the most lifeless tip into a lean-mean-wriing-machine. The kids in my class love it and know that it is not to be used all day long. Only by a professional (Mrs. Gillett and I), and only when they are lucky.

I knew Monet was hoping that I would offer to take care of her pencil for her. I did not expect the line of six-year-olds that followed soon after. I think I sharpened just about everyone's pencil this morning. Only about half were actually dull : ) but I would look at the already sharp ones, smile at my excited student, and give it a whirl anyway. They get so giddy, and it makes me feel lucky to bring them a little bit of joy. Even if it only consists of them watching the lighting speed sharpener.

My favorite part of the day was this: the smile and look Monet gave me as the kids continued to line up. Complete with her missing two front teeth and new glasses, she smirked and giggled...quite proud that she had started a movement in the classroom.

And so, being analytical, the wheels in my brain began to turn. Monet knew that I might have referred her to the small, manual sharpener on the shelf. However, she saw that the sharpener was out on my desk and took the opportunity. Even if she was trying to manipulate me with her cuteness, she took a risk. She encourged others to do the same, and many followed.

A leader is not so hard to find. It is not always that they are appointed or above everyone else, it is sometimes that they are simply willing. They take action, they physically move and walk across the room. Sometimes they walk across the world. Sometimes others follow, and they change the world.

Thanks for getting up today Monet. Thank you for moving and for taking a risk. I am daily taught lessons by my students and reminded of things that I will never forget.

Homeless

About an hour ago I answered the phone to hear Sammi on the other end of the line...in tears. She moved to San Marcos this year and her parents moved to Coranado. She was sitting in front of her old house just crying. "That is emotional suicide," I warned her as I got in my car and headed over to join her. I was greatful that she didn't want to go to my old house to give me an opportunity to fall apart too.

I don't feel like I have a home. I avoid driving up my old street because that house means nothing to me without my parents and beautiful sisters inside of it. Washington is where they are but still not home to me. My house is wonderful, alive, and full of roomies that I deeply love. But it is still not home.

I know there is a lesson in this. This is not a "transition period" or an "odd time" of life. This is my life. Where my feet are is where the Lord has me. I know His heart is my home and I desire to abide there constantly. I do not need the tangible. I need the truth.

I am a stranger here. I will never be at home on this earth. I am a citizen of Heaven and temporarily here where I have to opportunity to further His kingdom. Thank you Lord for the current circumstances that remind me of this! You overwhelm me with your timing!

"I've always known this wasn't home." -Bethany Dillon, in the song "Aimless"...listen to it!

For Sofia (She is leaving my classroom and leaving quite a void.)

You smile at me as if you have a great secret.
And I, in all my years, might be too wise to see it.

You're pure potenial while I have expired.
While you seize the day, I fear I've grown tired.

You're love is fearless, you're courage is bold.
I know I have cowered and let things grow cold.

Yet you look at me as if my knowledge is deep.
Though I am concinved you have lessons to teach.

You find me lovely, when you're the golden child.
I'm humbled and privleged you're warmed by my smile.

Sidenote (Expanded)

Only the valiant will understand this...

I would like to paint a picture and put all of me into every stroke.
I would like to play a symphany and put beauty into every note.
Because you see the art in me.
And I hear music when you speak.

Updated December 1st


These are the lyrics to a song that I was writing. It was intended to be two-fold. The more obvious intention (if you know my heart) is that it is a small part of a love song between the Lord and I. It was also meant for someone in my life who has been wonderfully encouraging and inspiring lately.

I decided that although the lines are simple and the stanza is short...that is all I am going to write. I said what I wanted to and am not going to go any further, except to explain a bit about what I mean.

When we feel recognized, cherished, and beautiful...it is amazing how our outlook on things changes. We feel more emboldened and capable. When someone believes in us, the results of our ambitions are often wonderful. When I started thinking upon this a bit more I came up with a question. When we are treasured and praised, do you think we produce greater things or is it that we fabricated great things all along but were not noticed?

This is too broad an idea to decide upon a difinitive answer. Also, I know that each individual situation is unique. So, I will be a little more transparent than usual and let you into my own life. I met someone who sees the art in me. Words are such an affirming thing to me and encouragement has always seemed to be a powerful modivation to my heart. Through the words and affirming actions of this individual, I have been so greatly uplifted. I feel valued and cared for. It's not that I did not have those things present in my life before; the Lord is more than enough to sustain those desires. It is simply this: sometimes the Lord provides people the ability to see us as He does. And when this happens...we are beautifully and marvelously free to be as extrordinary as He designed for us to be. It's like He gives us a little boost : ).

I have been studying verses and passages on "encouragement" and "glory" this week. I know that the Lord uses us as tools to spur one another on towards greatness. But it is now that I have seen this so gracisouly in my own life that I desire to know and understand it more deeply. I will keep updating this blog on what I discover. We will call this a preface, if you will.

P.S. Thank you for seeing the beauty in me. It enables me to show it to others.

Strength will rise....

I want to change the world. I really do. I do not find any use in "playing small" or keeping my dreams "realistic". God uses His people to do BIG things and the more time I spend in His word, the more I observe His uncanny choices. He uses the willing, meek, and weak to achieve His purposes. People like David, Josiah, Esther, and Rahab would not have been voted "Most Likely to Achieve" in their High School yearbooks. And yet they were tools the Lord used to change hearts, save lives, and move entire people groups to their knees. He used them because they walked rightously. He looks at our hearts, not out skills. Praise Him!

But let us not forget that He uses the unwilling too. Moses and Jonah had no desire to "go". So when they would not humble themselves towards the Lord, He did it for them. He used them to teach us that He will use who He chooses. His will is going to be done either way....but I would rather be a willing heart : ).

So here I am, as willing as I can possibly be. I don't care where, how, or when I go, just as long as I go. Be it inner-city missions, time in Kenya, teaching English in the Czech, ministering to my husband and children, or serving in the church...I am willing. But what do I do when I am not sure what to do? How do I wait well? I tend to think I am young, able, and shapable. He could do so much with me. He could use me right now to impact the world!

Noah changed the world. Well, the Lord used him to save mankind (sort of a big deal). But I was reminded last night that God did not use Noah to do that until he was 500 years old! So what did Noah do for the first 500 years of his life? He walked with the Lord and lived righteously.

Again, he walked with the Lord and lived rightously.

So I will walk with the Lord and live rightously wherever He has me and whether I feel like I am in a "waiting" period or not.

"Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.
We will wait upon the Lord.
We will wait upon the Lord."

Brave

We woke up that morning to find that the forest outside had been delicately sprinkled with fresh powder. The snow we long awaited had finally arrived. The boys declared it a "day of the slopes", well one slope to be exact, and we headed up to the Hume Lake snowboard run. Everyone muttered on and on about how the conditions were "perfect" and all had high expectations for the day. I was not so thrilled. If I hadn't snowed, I would not have had to face my fears. Indeed, I was terrified of snowboarding.

I am not certain if it was the unknown, the cold, or the speed; but I had avoided the skill for years. I always had some excuse for why I couldn't make the trips to Mammoth or Moutain High. Now, much to my dismay, we were all present at Winter Camp and I had no escape. We stood at the bottom on the run and I watched as fast-flying blurs passed before my eyes. (I am being dramatic of course.) I was petrified.

"Come on Anna, it's a perfect day to learn." Trevor said with much insight. He could see the lack of enthusiasm that I had tried to hard to mask. Had I not been so infatuated with him that it made it hard to breath...I might have protested. But something wreckless in me said "GO!".

"Okay." I managed to stammer back as we headed up the hill.

We climbed about half way up and stopped. Trevor said this would be a good place to learn and that if I just listened to him I would have it in "no time". By now I had already imagined a head on collison with one of the speed deamons that raced before me, a fast ride to the infimrary, and devistated parents who would shortly find out about the death of their oldest daughter. I suddenly realized that impressing and spending time with Trevor was not worth my imminent death and started to walk back down the moutnain.

"Anna, you can do this. Get back up here, I am waiting for you."

Something in his voice made me feel as though he actually desired my company and that he already deemed me to be victorious. It was as if there was no doubt at all that I was perfectly capable of conquering this mountain (this bunny slope, to be exact). And he was waiting for me! Something in Trevor that day made me want to be brave.

Romans 8:11 "And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you."

So, why am I still frozen by fear? The same Spirit who raised Christ from the dead is in me! And He actually does desire me. He has been waiting for me. He is already victorious. He does not only conquer mountains, He moves them!

I ought to be so driven by my passion for the Lord that I am willing to ride, even plummet down any slope He desires. I ought to feel confident and comforted knowing that the God of the Universe, who does not change or fail, is alive and at work in me. I ought to call in His power and trust Him with my entire being. I ought to be BRAVE.

"So long status quoe,
I think I just let go.
You make me want to be BRAVE.
The way it always was,
Is no linger good enough.
You make me want to be BRAVE."
-Nichole Nordeman

4 Year Old Wisdom

I was babysitting. Alisa was sitting on a barstool while I did the dishes. I sing all the time, really I don't stop. I was quietly singing a line from a song my dear friend Andrew Sartain wrote "Walk with me, together we'll consume the sky...who am I?"

"It shouldn't be that," Alisa commented casually.
"What shouldn't be what?" I asked.
"It shouldn't be walk with me, that's dumb."

I paused. She is only four but I was quite certain she knew something profound about life that I didn't.
"Well, what should the song say Alisa?"
"It should say love with me, that's better."

Love is a movement, it's a revolution. It changes, it endures, it empowers, and it is absolutely the answer. Alisa does not know the entirety of the lyrics in Andrew's song. She has no idea the implications he was trying to encourage and great meaning he intended. But she does know LOVE and that there is no greater song.

Impulsive

"One impulse from a vernal wood can teach you more of man, of moral evil and of good than all the sages can." William Wordsworth

I am no transcendentalist. I have never embraced a tree. I believe that while God does manifest Himself to us through nature (Romans 1) that nature itself will not lead us to truth. I do however understand that a week ago this evening I was standing on the pier in Port Angeles, Washington watching as the violent colors of the sky dipped down into the water by the harbor. The sun bid farewell but graciously left us the twilight to remind us of its return. I was in awe. Truly and utterly humbled.
True beauty, especially in nature, is awakening. It has taught me much and dissapointed me little.
I am no trancendentalist, but William, I agree.

On Our Side

The hour is late and the day is done. I returned from a week long trip in Washington to find a dear friend waiting for me at the baggage claim. She could have just pulled up to the curb like most people do. But Nadia chose to pay the extra $3 and park in the garage so she could be standing there when I came through the door.
The drive home was enlightening as we shared about what the Lord taught us while we were apart.We hold nothing back, she knows my stains and I know her weaknesses. We are family now, both somewhat seperated from our own. We come home, have dinner, share more of our hearts, and clean my part of the room together. This is not abnormal, I am messy and the Lord frequently uses Nadia to help "clean house" in my life.
I wash my face, along with the dirt that has been clogging the pores of my heart, and walk back into my room refreshed.
Nadia is sleeping now, the fan is blowing a gentle breeze, the CD player is singing to me, and Lord...I hear you. I feel so close to you that I can reach out and touch you. I am content.

"You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor.
You laugh and share stories with the theif and the whore.
When you could just be silent and leave us here to die.
Still you send your son for us, you are on our side." -Bethany Dillon