Miss Emily Klop

I am not sure that I have ever seen a picture capture someone's soul so well.

Worth the Wait

The sign read "Customs/ U.S. Citizens". My gaze was not fixed in the enormous line that stood below the sign, backed up into the istle way, looped around the back of the airport, and trailed off down the runway. Alright, it wasn't really that long. But to a girl who hadn't seen her parents in a month...it seems liked it would take an eternity to get to them. (I was only supposed to be in the Czech for three weeks but due to terrorist threats we were there for another week.)

I tapped my foot, shifted back and forth, wiggled, sighed, and inched my way through that line. Finally! I was free! The officer welcomes me back into the United States and informed me that I appeared to be no threat to the country (Thank you kindly sir). I then turned the corner to see yet ANOTHER line. Baggage!? Now I had to wait for my luggage and then stand in another line where I would be questioned about what was in my bags. Didn’t they know that I was not threat to the country? Obviously not. I gathered my wits and endured through yet another LONG line.

By the time I was through it I was literally running to the exit. At this point I think they were questioning if I possibly was a threat to the United States : ). I stammered around the corner and as soon as only an inch of me was visible to the crowd waiting there I head a very loud and enthusiastic “ANNA!”. My eyes filled with tears at the sound of my Dad’s voice and I saw the sea of people part as my Dad and Mom pushed everyone out of their way. (Ok, that was dramatic too.) I hugged them both as tightly as possible and was so thankful to be home and with them. I had missed them and been missed. The mere 200 feet of walls, lines, dividers, officers, baggage, and crowds that had separated us were now conquered and I was finally with them.

There are so many ideas in my head, lessons learned, and illustrations I could make out of this instance. I could now break it down analytically : ) and talk about anticipation, patience, joy, endurance, God’s timing, ect… But I just wanted to share this story with you to let you into a beautiful moment in my life. I hope that you all have someone that will be there anxiously awaiting your company. Thank you Dad for your shouts, you can yell at me (like that ha ha) anytime. Thank you Mom for your great hugs that speak volumes. I love you both and I cannot wait to see you again.

What a mess!

I am a mess...really. I was thinking the other day about how much of a mess (past and current) I am. You know this. My room and car are rarely clean, I can be far too sarcastic, I don't always return phone calls (sometimes do to my lame phone and sometimes by choice), I will flake, I will break down, I will forget something very important, my hair is rarely brushed, outfit thrown together, I always see how long I can go without having to shave my legs : ), I don't stop singing, I assume that everyone wants to talk to me, I don't always take responsibility, I am lazy, I run late, I laugh too loud, and I generally lack self control. I am a mess.

I love the line in the Beth song "Change Me" that says "I used to think, you couldn't love a mess like me...then you came in close."

There is this man I know (who has plenty of boy in him too)who happens to see all these things. Well, he is still finding some of them out. And do you know what he told me? That I am the one he has been waiting for. That it was worth waiting for me. Me? A mess like me? It is so hard to believe that I am lovely and beautiful. That I am desirable. That I am someone worthy of being "in love" with.

I look into the the face of this mess in the mirror each day and have to just laugh. I do. I laugh about it. I know all my faults and so do you, I wear them on my sleeve. The good Lord knows all these things too and somewhere in His merciful heart he decided to make me into something glorious. I am His, ha ha I am His mess. And He LOVES me so passionately. And He gave me this overflowing gift in allowing David Matthew Quinn to see the art in me.

On a lighter note...

This is for Erinnnn. She gets extra "n"s because she is so neat and nifty. And very nice. I am going to take a brief break from my usual deepness : ) to bring a few shallower, but very important thoughts.

Erin and I discussed our vocabularies and determined that since David says "Making up words is a sign of genius"...we are going to create some words and use them frequently. So far we have added the "ed" suffix to just about anything we desire to add a sort of "intelligent" quality to our words.

For example. If Erin looked at the stars last night I would say that she look-ed at the stars. Friends, please do not be confused. This is not the word "looked", as your most likely suspected at first. It is two syllables (look)(ed)...not blending the d into the root word. For added emphasis (and special occasion) we with add "eth" to the word. But not as an ending...for that has been done. We will add it into the middle and still keep our other suffix. Example: Erin lookethed at the stars. Pronounced (look)(eth)(ed). Three wonderful syllables making one fancy little word that is not needed at all and serves no other purpose than our delight.

You may join us in our quest for elegance if you wish.

I would also like to take the time to point out that Erin and I drive the same car (hers is white for "good" and mine is black for "evil"...no need to fear, I am not defined by my car but by the Lord alone), we are the same size, look good in the same kinds of shoes, do the same curls, think lots of the same things, and say things at the same time. We drove past a warehouse for sale yesterday and both said, "We should buy it." We laughed and then at the same time said, "What would we do with it?". This is just one example of the sameness. Or I suppose we are sam-ed. And on special days we are sam-eth-ed.

Oh Erinnnn, how I lov-eth-ed thee.

Scars

He found me in the mud and the mire. There was nothing of beauty there. I was tainted and downcast. My eyes gazed at things of disgust. My mouth was full of lies and malice. My feet went towards destruction. My ears listened to the council of the wicked. My heart was a harlot. Satan’s grip on me was stifling and yet I was comfortable. When I think about the dreadful creature I was, hide my face in shame and want to cry for hours. Oh how I desire to forget!

When I became a child of God He took my transgressions and banished them from Himself. He cut into me and scraped out the muck that had seeped through my pores as a result of sitting in that pit for so long. He took my eyes and replaced them with lenses of truth, I now see through His eyes. He filled my mouth with songs of victory and exaltation. He made my path straight and narrow and my feet now follow as He goes before me. My ears hear His words to me and lend themselves to the music of the redeemed. And my heart. Oh praise Him for the work He has done! He took my out of the bed of my past lovers and cleansed me over and over. He allured me and called lovely. He cleansed me in sweet oils and perfume and clothed me in white. I am now His bride, pure and unstained.

So why can I not forget the person I was before? My do I shudder and mourn so? Why could my Lord not have removed my memories of my past life? I am new now right? So why must I have knowledge of that old self?

“I’ll build an alter out of the rubble that you found me in.
So heal the wound but leave the scar.
A reminder of how merciful you are.”

He has healed me and freed me. I am now a slave to righteousness and not to my own flesh and evil desires. And not to the Prince of this earth but to the King of glory! And let my scars be a reminder of where He brought me out of. They may itch from time to time and not be a lovely sight, but they are reminders of His great mercy and compassion.

I just bought the Jon Foreman CD, if you don’t have it…get it. In his song called “Running” he says “Build me a home inside your scars.” His scars are SO beautiful! They represent hands and feet that bled for us to pay for our souls and give glory to the Father. I, Anna Thomson, resolve to abide in His scars and not my own. Deo volente!

(Thank you Father for my life and for lessons like these. I am captivated and so deeply in love with you!)

Sometimes it's beautiful...

She threw the heart-shaped locket as hard as she could manage. Every possible ounce of frustration went into her thrust and even though she may have forgotten the necklace was still attached to her neck, she still felt liberated. Her anger was beautiful. It was like a flower bursting with violent and deep crimson...and a hint of darkest blue. When we look upon such things, we can only marvel and want to feel and experience the unfolding of every tainted petal.
Gravity wins though. It always does. The locket swung in a half circle and hit her square in the back of the head. "Ouch!" she exclaimed with such enthusiasm that I was able to hear her voice transition from rage to humility. She was mad. Extremely, and yet appropriately mad. We always are when hearts are at stake. It would feel a thousand times lighter to be able to hurl them across the most distant sea and into oblivion. But gravity always wins. Petals once appreciated for their anger will wither and loose their hue.
And as they fall to the ground
The necklace swings back 'round
And we are left with humility
And ever constant gravity

Take my world apart!

"I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride, I flew too high
And like Icharus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but LOVE
To GIVE and DIE"
-Jars of Clay

I want to live every day with a stake through my heart...right through the center of it.
Romans 6:4 "We were therefore burried with him through baptism in to death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead though the glory of the Father, we too may have new life."

On Wednesday I died and I had not done that in a long time. I drove down the road, after being fired from my job, and sobbed as the lyrics from the Jars of Clay song "Worlds Apart" played from my CD player. I had lived for so long without dying to myself. I lived in a state of surrender, but only to my selfishness. I did not "wage war" agaist he soul as to be a witness for all to see the glory of God (1 Peter 2:11-12). I became lazy and sick and was not commited to he job that the Lord blessed me with, or to His call to be faithful in ALL things. I long to hear "Well done" when I meet my Master face to face (Matthew 25:21) and I know that were I to die today...such words would not spring forth. I am humbled, needy, and ashamed.

Romans 6:5-7 "If we ave been united withe him in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified wih him so that the body of sin might not be rendered powerless, that we should no longer be slaves to sin-because anyone who has dies has been freed from sin."

I am broken an ashamed, but I also believe in redemption and in the power of Jesus Christ on the cross. I do not have to be a slave to myself! I can be a slave to rightousness through His grace and spirit in my life! Praise His name!!!! He is good!!! He can take my heart and make it new. His blood never fails me or looses its power! I'm alive and free to die every day because of Calvary. And He can have it all. He can have my job, house, food, car, friends, clothes, boyfriend, dreams, desires, heart, mind and soul. ALL to Him and none to me. He can empty me. He can take my world apart! I ask that He would take my world apart for the rest of my life.

Psalm 40:17 "I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay."

Take my world apart, oh God do not delay!!!