Something Amazing!!!

I love that scene in "The Incredibles" where Mr. Incredible pulls up in his car and there is a little boy on a tricycle waiting for him. When Mr. Incredible looks at him and rudely says "What are you waiting for?" the boy responds "I don't know, something amazing!"

I so often feel like a kid on a tricycle waiting for the spectacular to happen in my life. It's like I cozy up with my blanket and popcorn and just sit back till the show starts. I had to ask myself the other day "Anna, what are you waiting for?" But I have to admit, I felt the sweet sting of conviction when my heart responded "I don't know...something amazing."

I am amazing. I have the ability to do amazing things every day. The same spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells inside me. And if I actually wipe the dust that has settled over my eyes (as I sit in my comfortable seat) away...I see the amazing things that have been happening in my life.

My dear friend Gary passed away about a month ago. My heart still hurts. He was like a father to me and he was very close to my dad. As I hung out with his family and tried to be an encouragement, I remember thinking "How can I help when I am a wreck myself?" Then a week later my grandmother died also. When I heard the news, I thought maybe my heart would just stop or pop out of my chest from being so swollen. Loss is a hammer that hits so hard and so deep. I had a few days of dark despair and suffering...but you know what? It was amazing.

My awesome Savior, like only the Great Comforter can, wrapped His love around me and held on tight. Healing is an amazing thing. Not only has the God of the Universe created our bodies so that our tissues and bones can heal, He also knows our deepest pains and soothes our heart wounds.

I have certainly found myself in a few situations that I was not sure just how I would handle. But the Lord worked in amazing ways. So interesting, I wanted spectacular, he gave me great pain. He allows me to see Him at work so much better when I am not just thinking about myself and what I want.

You know what? I experienced His glory in a way that I have not seen it before. In such an eternal and resolved light. God's glory...yup. That is the kind of amazing that I want in m life.

Some favorite wedding photos...

Philosopies, Theories, and Me

Ahhh! I am so tired of philosophers. I really am. Sorry Plato, no intention to offend. But if I hear one more person talk about life as if it is a theory, I might shoot myself. Or better yet, them. : ) (I am not normally this violent.) Here's the deal. LIFE IS NOT A THEORY. I can reach out and touch things, I can breathe in and out, I live in a tangible and very REAL world...that is part of an even bigger universe. I am not in any way discounting the spiritual realm that we also live in. I want to be clear in that.
But I am tired of modern day philosophers. We see them everywhere. Colleges are infiltrated with them, our churches host them at our pulpits, we listen to them and get all emotional and stirred when then lead our bible studies...they are everywhere. What do they do? They talk about ideas as if an idea is the root and end of all things. They treat the Kingdom like it is some experiment that can be hypothesized about and put into a test tube. They talk talk talk talk talk about what we should do and be and who God is and says that we are. A lot of the things that they say are true, biblical, and "sound". But they are still just theories if no one lives them out. Right?
We are to be hearers and DOERS of the word. Our ideas are NOTHING if they do not push us to action. And I fear that our lives are just becoming this big spiritual pep rally, but we never get out there and play the game. Does anybody hear me? I mean can anyone relate to this?
I do not mean to say that I am not privy to all these things. I am just as bad. I will sit around and talk about what we are going to do for the Lord and who we are going to be and how we out to be full of passion, intention, and other things. It's like I sit there and read the word and have awesome talks with God and know exactly what I need to do...and then go on with my day like none of that happened. Sometimes I feel like I am this awesome, advanced, polished, well-made, pair of running shoes that just sits on a shelf somewhere collecting dust. But they are good in theory right?
Ug. I am so tired of being a philosopher.

Not Long Here

"I've got my memory. Always inside of me...created for a place I've never known. This is home." Jon Foreman is the man. I will always say this. His writing for Switchfoot has caught me off guard many times. Tunes that come off as "catchy", become something I am quickly, and completely "caught up in."
That was only a preface to my main point. I have written about this before, and I still believe it. God works in circles in my life. He brings it all back around and will again and again. He really drives things home with me. Each time I learn the same core lesson, just in a deeper and more beautiful way.
This one started by reading "The Weight of Glory" by C.S. Lewis. I learned more about, and Lewis perfectly captured, this longing in my heart that could not be explained. I know it is for heaven's streets and the Lord's face. I was not made for this earth. I am a stranger here. I want to be home.
Next was the song "Home" by Switchfoot. I cried the first time it graced my radio and immediately became obsessed with this song that everyone else seemed to deem "simple" or "not that deep". My heart understood every word and I knew that Jon Foreman must have read a lot of C.S. Lewis.It has become one of my theme songs.
Alas, I am listening to Brooke Fraser the other day and she has a song called "C.S. Lewis Song". The bridge repeats "We are not long here" and she sings of being made for another place. That phrase has been in my head for days... and the circle comes back around again.
Lord, thank you for the reminder. Thank you for knowing my heart and the exact circumstances I am in. You always send me just what I need. And thank you for using the writings of this man from the past to remind me of my eternal future. I am not long here.

Married Stuff

Things I learned from being married...thus far:
1. Teeth need to be brushed more frequently.
2. Since we are one now, I can't get away with being in an invisible bad mood. What is that you ask? I used to be able to be outwardly gleeful but inwardly cynical when I woke up on the "wrong side of the bed". Now...He knows.
3. I am pretty selfish and overbearing.
4. He likes me just the way I am.
5. He has opionions too : ) Like where to put couches and stuff.
6. Having someone else in your bed takes getting used to.
7. God really likes to give us good gifts! I am so thankful for my husband!

Swelling

Boom boom. Boom boom. It's my heart. With each beat blood passes in and out of the atriums and ventricles and then hurries on to the rest of my body. I need the oxygen and nutrients. I need the circulatory cycle to work. So what happens when it feels like my heart is swelling. Not literally, I am not suffering from an actual pulmonary disaster. But when it feels too overloaded with love, frustration, passion, redemption, disaster, glory, hurt, compassion, and emotion. What then?

I have been through this sort of cardiac arrest before. I allow my heart to swell so much that it does not function properly. Without the cells rushing in and out of my organs, my body weakens and I eventually suffocate from the inside out. I have lost heart in the past. I have been here before, and I am NOT going back.

Eph 3:13 Therefore I ask you not to lose heart at my tribulations on your behalf, for they are your glory.

Heb 12:3 For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

2Co 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though, our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

He has made a way. He has not given us more than we can handle. I need some humbling. I need to do some serious spiritual cardio. I am NOT going to loose heart, even if it swells a bit : ).

Petal Pushing

At the dawn of spring, the anticipation of the colors drew me back to the wooden box. Inside were wrinkled seed packets of every flower imaginable, from poppies and sweet peas to sunflowers and dahlias-each stippled in earthy reds, yellows, and greens. Like obedient pupils, they sat upright in alphabetical order according to their scientific names, baring handwritten notes about their temperament-
Happiest in the shade.
Likes to be sung to.
Isn't as fragile as she seems.