Scars

He found me in the mud and the mire. There was nothing of beauty there. I was tainted and downcast. My eyes gazed at things of disgust. My mouth was full of lies and malice. My feet went towards destruction. My ears listened to the council of the wicked. My heart was a harlot. Satan’s grip on me was stifling and yet I was comfortable. When I think about the dreadful creature I was, hide my face in shame and want to cry for hours. Oh how I desire to forget!

When I became a child of God He took my transgressions and banished them from Himself. He cut into me and scraped out the muck that had seeped through my pores as a result of sitting in that pit for so long. He took my eyes and replaced them with lenses of truth, I now see through His eyes. He filled my mouth with songs of victory and exaltation. He made my path straight and narrow and my feet now follow as He goes before me. My ears hear His words to me and lend themselves to the music of the redeemed. And my heart. Oh praise Him for the work He has done! He took my out of the bed of my past lovers and cleansed me over and over. He allured me and called lovely. He cleansed me in sweet oils and perfume and clothed me in white. I am now His bride, pure and unstained.

So why can I not forget the person I was before? My do I shudder and mourn so? Why could my Lord not have removed my memories of my past life? I am new now right? So why must I have knowledge of that old self?

“I’ll build an alter out of the rubble that you found me in.
So heal the wound but leave the scar.
A reminder of how merciful you are.”

He has healed me and freed me. I am now a slave to righteousness and not to my own flesh and evil desires. And not to the Prince of this earth but to the King of glory! And let my scars be a reminder of where He brought me out of. They may itch from time to time and not be a lovely sight, but they are reminders of His great mercy and compassion.

I just bought the Jon Foreman CD, if you don’t have it…get it. In his song called “Running” he says “Build me a home inside your scars.” His scars are SO beautiful! They represent hands and feet that bled for us to pay for our souls and give glory to the Father. I, Anna Thomson, resolve to abide in His scars and not my own. Deo volente!

(Thank you Father for my life and for lessons like these. I am captivated and so deeply in love with you!)