Take my world apart!

"I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride, I flew too high
And like Icharus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but LOVE
To GIVE and DIE"
-Jars of Clay

I want to live every day with a stake through my heart...right through the center of it.
Romans 6:4 "We were therefore burried with him through baptism in to death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead though the glory of the Father, we too may have new life."

On Wednesday I died and I had not done that in a long time. I drove down the road, after being fired from my job, and sobbed as the lyrics from the Jars of Clay song "Worlds Apart" played from my CD player. I had lived for so long without dying to myself. I lived in a state of surrender, but only to my selfishness. I did not "wage war" agaist he soul as to be a witness for all to see the glory of God (1 Peter 2:11-12). I became lazy and sick and was not commited to he job that the Lord blessed me with, or to His call to be faithful in ALL things. I long to hear "Well done" when I meet my Master face to face (Matthew 25:21) and I know that were I to die today...such words would not spring forth. I am humbled, needy, and ashamed.

Romans 6:5-7 "If we ave been united withe him in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified wih him so that the body of sin might not be rendered powerless, that we should no longer be slaves to sin-because anyone who has dies has been freed from sin."

I am broken an ashamed, but I also believe in redemption and in the power of Jesus Christ on the cross. I do not have to be a slave to myself! I can be a slave to rightousness through His grace and spirit in my life! Praise His name!!!! He is good!!! He can take my heart and make it new. His blood never fails me or looses its power! I'm alive and free to die every day because of Calvary. And He can have it all. He can have my job, house, food, car, friends, clothes, boyfriend, dreams, desires, heart, mind and soul. ALL to Him and none to me. He can empty me. He can take my world apart! I ask that He would take my world apart for the rest of my life.

Psalm 40:17 "I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay."

Take my world apart, oh God do not delay!!!